Here’s an example of how insane the standings are right now: if Nicky Hayden lands second on the podium, Rossi only has to place place fifth to take the title. Third for Nicky means Rossi needs only ninth.

Plus, the front row is Rossi, Capirossi, Bayliss–my sweetheart, two Ducs and one of them ridden by… BAYLISS? Where’d he come from? Nicky lined up right next to Pedrosa, his teammate who ran him off the track and trashed the race in Portugal last time around and…

I’ll just calm down and see if I can get any takers to bet me on how many laps Nakano gets before crashing.

My heart is with Valentino, but when Nicky crashed at Portugal, I actually began to weep. I think I have a little Kentucky in me after all.

“There are two riders in Honda,” Rossi said. “One is a little rooster who is fifth in the world championship, and the other is a leader who’s all alone.” RoadRacerX

• SuperbikePlanet

Rossi, on the other hand, is funny. And he’s a complete long shot nearly every race, so it’s exciting to see not if, but how and when he pulls out the win. And he dumps. And he doesn’t win. And he balls up his qualifying times, but he’s silly and goofy and adorable. He’s a joy to watch on the track — he’s athletic, colorful and artistic.

Does America have to win everything? I mean, it’s cool that Lance and that Amish dude smeared the Tour de France, but it’s sort of sad, too. They make the sport seem somehow less exotic. Same with football/soccer. I love soccer, I love American soccer players, but I love the passion between the English clubs and the intense geopolitical political blood that runs through African and Middle Eastern teams.

Besides, Valentino is a little brat. When he spits a little smoke around a turn, or holds two fingers behind his back for the guy he just passed, I love that he’s a seven-time world champion.

So imagine my surprise when the amazing and talented Lissa G. dropped by MotoPrimo today and exclaimed that she liked Nicky because “he’s just so much more playful,” or words to that effect. I think I scared her when I yelled at her, “No way, that’s exactly the reason he sucks, he’s such a stiff!”

Anyways, the truth of it is that I loathe the post-race interviews when Nicky’s on the podium. I tried to watch NASCAR for a couple of years before I finally turned away in disgust. Southern accents and bad English just creeps me out. I could listen to Loris and Dani and Valentino “um” and “er” their way through our language for hours.

It’s almost as unbearable as the American commentary compared with the continental coverage. It’s the only time I like listening to sports announcers.

So who do you like and why? When you’re finished, please close your book and put your head on your desk until everyone is done.